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I will lie
Even as you look me in the eye
And everyday
I will say
"I'm fine"
And take these feelings of mine
And bury them so deep inside
No one will know where they hide.
this, to me at least, seems like it could be the chorus of a song or something. If you want to add more, you're more than welcome. just give me credit and send me the finished piece.
so yeah ^.^ not much to say.
Kay thanks <3
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:iconheroxstfu:
HeroxSTFU Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
The rhyming is amazing (Y) Respect (Y)
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:iconbethanyyjoelle:
BethanyyJoelle Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2011  Student Writer
haha thank you :]
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:iconheroxstfu:
HeroxSTFU Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Urw ;)
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:iconkowareyume:
KowareYume Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
The rhyming scheme is PERFECT. :3
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:iconbethanyyjoelle:
BethanyyJoelle Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2011  Student Writer
thanks :]
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:iconkowareyume:
KowareYume Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You are very welcome. :)
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:iconsunnysometimes:
SunnySometimes Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2011
Short, but I love it. If I'm ever in a poetic mood I'll definately try building on it :)
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:iconbethanyyjoelle:
BethanyyJoelle Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2011  Student Writer
thanks :] and you should, i think poetry is beautiful and would definitely read it :]
Reply
:iconsunnysometimes:
SunnySometimes Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2011
I added onto it. Hope you like it :D [link]
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:iconbethanyyjoelle:
BethanyyJoelle Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2011  Student Writer
yeah i do like it :] good job! it has nice flow and emotion and the message is clearly spoken
Reply
:iconsunnysometimes:
SunnySometimes Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2011
Thank you
Reply
:iconbethanyyjoelle:
BethanyyJoelle Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2011  Student Writer
welcome :]
Reply
:icondarlingangel0565:
DarlingAngel0565 Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2011  Professional Writer
I just might take you up on that.
For I am truly feeling these words deeply.
Reply
:iconbethanyyjoelle:
BethanyyJoelle Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2011  Student Writer
go right ahead <3
Reply
:iconhyacinthjen:
HyacinthJen Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2011
Definitely could be a chorus to an awesome song! I love it as is as well. Great poem!
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:iconbethanyyjoelle:
BethanyyJoelle Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2011  Student Writer
thanks a lot :]
Reply
:iconhauntedbymymemories:
HauntedByMyMemories Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I agree, it could :) I love it
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:iconbethanyyjoelle:
BethanyyJoelle Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2011  Student Writer
but i cant think of what else to do so :P and thanks :D
Reply
:iconkalidesmona13:
KaliDesmona13 Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2011  Hobbyist Artist
O.o i relly like it! nicely done!!
Reply
:iconbethanyyjoelle:
BethanyyJoelle Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2011  Student Writer
thanks a lot :] and thanks for the fav <3
Reply
:iconkalidesmona13:
KaliDesmona13 Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2011  Hobbyist Artist
yw & yw :meow: wen i read tht it remeinded me of the drawing "fake smile"
Reply
:iconbethanyyjoelle:
BethanyyJoelle Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2011  Student Writer
yeah, i was gonna put something about a fake smile in but i was okay with it being this short so :P
Reply
:iconkalidesmona13:
KaliDesmona13 Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2011  Hobbyist Artist
lol
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